Youngstown Daily Legal News

Divorced baby boomers seek another shot at love

ALLISON SLONAKER
Special to the Legal News
Published: November 12, 2015

As the number of divorces among baby boomers continues to rise, so does the number of people looking for love again.

The stigma that was once connected with the idea of divorce has slowly disappeared, which is believed to have contributed to the rising numbers.

“The baby boomers generation are on the cusp of the culture that thought divorce was taboo and the cusp of the ‘me’ generation,” said marriage counselor Richard Marks.

Americans over the age of 55 are twice as likely to divorce than they were 20 years ago, according a study conducted by sociologists at Bowling Green State University.

Since the idea of divorce doesn’t carry as much of a stigma any more, Marks believe that when people become unhappy in their marriage they now turn to divorce more than they would in the past.

“The reality is, they’re just throwing it away because they are miserable (in their marriage). Sixty years ago women would stay in a loveless marriage. Today they are not,” Marks said.

Susie Hardesty, co-owner of dating service Dating Directions and matchmaker, said she has seen an increase in baby boomers, postdivorce, coming to her to find love, again.

“We have seen an increase in baby boomers, after divorce. It’s unfortunate,” Hardesty said. “I think the baby boomers, after they process that and are done healing, they realize there is still room for love and adventure.”

Elizabeth Cobey-Piper, Hardesty’s co-owner, and Hardesty both said they have noticed their baby boomer clients are vibrant, fun and have a lot of energy.

“Their interests are mountain climbing, traveling and hiking,” Cobey-Piper said. “This is the kind of stuff I would hear from people in their twenties.”

Cobey-Piper and Hardesty said these singles are at a point in their life where they can do fun things and that is what they are looking for.

“They have been working all their life. They are looking to do something fun. This is a time in their life they can do that,” Cobey-Piper said. “They are looking for someone to share that with. They aren’t looking for someone to build a life with, they already have that, but someone to share their life with.”

The study also suggest that the increase in divorce could be because of the “light bulb moment,” meaning that as people age they tend to evaluate the quality of life.

Big milestone moments such as retirement can cause people to re-evaluate how committed they are to their relationship.

Also, since people are tending to live longer, there are fewer people willing to sacrifice living those years unhappily.

Hardesty agrees that if someone is unhappy in a relationship and it’s not functioning they should move on and that is what baby boomers are doing because they want that great life.

“Life is today. They want to have a great life, the rest of their life,” Hardesty said.

The matchmakers said they also believe the increase in divorce has something to do with empty nest syndrome.

“They are waiting for their children to grow and move out,” Hardesty said. “A lot of people do wait. So it makes a lot of sense there would be an increase now.”

Even though there are more single women than single men, Hardesty said they have seen a lot of men. Dating Directions attempts to have an equal number of men and women participating.

It can be a lot of work to try and find the perfect person, but there are many ways to meet people and, according to the matchmakers, this is a good time for dating.

“This is an amazing time to be dating. There have never been so many ways to meet people,” Cobey-Piper said.

Even after a tough time, such as a divorce, the matchmakers know there is still love for everyone.

“I always feel that, even with baby boomers, you can still find the love of your life,” Hardesty said.

“Falling in love at any age still feels the same. It’s magic,” Cobey-Piper said.

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